Clobbered by TikTok
5th April 2026
I began this project with a plan to make TikTok videos with the heading ‘Clobbered by the Bible’ based on my plan to deal with – what I see as – the false interpretation of six Bible verses, known as The Clobber Passages, used to condemn same-sex and specifically but not exclusively male same-sex relationships. I couldn’t quite get the tone and script right despite trying several times and creating the characters – originally Richard and Judy – but subsequently changed to Ruth and Jonathan. Loren asked me why I had chosen Richard and Judy in one of the class sessions and that made me think that while I wanted a daytime television vibe, it might be more appropriate to choose characters more closely associated with the Biblical setting. That’s why I went with Ruth and Jonathan – two of the most well know queer characters in the bible.
Having completed – but not yet posted my ‘serious’ series for this project and decided to return to the question of Tik Tok – I have recorded some content, which I will post but which I am currently trying to edit slightly to demonstrate the ‘iteration’ process Tina has recommended, I feel it is too long and not quite what I had envisaged. With a little time to spare on the afternoon of Easter Sunday, I reduced the scripts dramatically and tried to make them both amusing and short again with the ‘new’ characters, Ruth and Jonathan. These scripts still cover the Clobber Passages but in what may be described as a catty, bitchy, queer-coded and fun way.
I am not going to present the videos myself but decided to try using the video creation section of Cap Cut – it’s called Dreamina Seedance 2.0 and I used Claude AI to help me to craft the prompts properly.
But first the scripts/prompts:
Objective: Three punchy, one-minute TikTok scripts with a cheeky nod to who Ruth and Jonathan actually are in the Bible, both figures have centuries of queer-coded scholarship around them, so having them present the show is a theological argument in miniature! (Discuss!)
For Dreamina Seedance, the prompts lean into a consistent visual world – retro pastel studio, animated cutaways, lower thirds – so the three videos feel like a series rather than three separate experiments. Each script runs to around 60 seconds. I am not entirely sure why CapCut AI Video Generator chose a tapestry design but beggars – as they say – can’t be choosers.
Let’s see what happens …
Sodom & Gomorrah: Worst Neighbours Ever TikTok 1
Genesis 19 –
Ruth: Hi, I’m Ruth, yes, that Ruth, the one with my own book in the Bible. The one who told Naomi “where you go, I will go.” Very platonic. Totally.
Jonathan: And I’m Jonathan. My love for David “surpassed the love of women.” Also very platonic. Anyway- Sodom.
Ruth: The city God destroyed. Which the Church has been using to threaten queer people for centuries. Shall we?
Jonathan: Genesis 19. An angry mob demands strangers be handed over – for gang rape. Which is violence, not a Pride parade.
Ruth: Elsewhere in the Bible – Ezekiel, to be specific – Sodom’s actual sins are listed as: arrogance, ignoring the poor, and general moral bankruptcy.
Jonathan: No mention of the gays. Almost like… it wasn’t about the gays?
Ruth: If anyone’s waved Sodom at you – honey, you’re not the mob at the door. You are the guest. Made in the image of God.
Jonathan: The mob had bad theology. You just have good taste.
On-screen caption: SODOM’S SIN: VIOLENCE. NOT YOU.
Dreamina Seedance 2.0 – video prompt (Helped by Claude AI)
Bright, retro daytime TV set with pastel sofa and floral cushions. Two queer-coded hosts – Ruth (warm, wry, 30s woman) and Jonathan (camp, quick, 30s man) — in colourful 1970s-style outfits. Light and playful energy. Upbeat incidental music. Lower thirds: “THIS MORNING — CLOBBERED BY THE BIBLE” with “Ruth & Jonathan” chyron. Fast cuts. Warm studio lighting. Talking-head close-ups intercut with illustrated Bible scene of a mob outside a house, with a red X over the mob. Final freeze frame: glittery text “SODOM’S SIN: VIOLENCE. NOT YOU.”
Leviticus: Live, Laugh, Abomination – TikTok 2
Leviticus 18:22 & 20:13 ~60 seconds
Jonathan: Welcome back. Today: Leviticus – the biblical equivalent of a terms and conditions page nobody read.
Ruth: “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination.” Strong words from a book that also bans prawn cocktail and polyester.
Jonathan: The Hebrew word – toevah – means a ritual taboo. Specific. Cultural. Ancient. Not “you, personally, are disgusting forever.”
Ruth: Chapter 20 adds a death penalty. Also for: adulterers, cheeky teenagers, and anyone who’s cursed their mum. So.
Jonathan: Funny how modern Christians aren’t stoning stroppy teenagers. But they are very keen to keep the one verse about us.
Ruth: These are civil codes for an ancient theocracy surrounded by some very colourful cult practices. They are not God’s personal letter to your sexuality.
Jonathan: You are not an abomination. You are a beloved image-bearer who is simply allergic to bad theology.
Ruth: If anything gets banned, let it be weaponised scripture. And beige buffet food.
Jonathan: The gays? Can stay.
On-screen caption: ABOMINATION ≠ YOU.
Dreamina Seedance 2.0 – video prompt
Same retro daytime TV set. Ruth and Jonathan increasingly exasperated but glamorous. Jonathan holds up a bowl of prawns and points at it knowingly. Ruth fans herself with a copy of Leviticus. Cutaway animation: a scroll with a long list of banned things (prawns, polyester, mixed seeds) with a big red X; then a tiny section zoomed in with a magnifying glass. Upbeat comedy underscore. Lower third reads “LEVITICUS: TERMS & CONDITIONS APPLY.” Final graphic: glittery “ABOMINATION ≠ YOU” with confetti burst.
Paul’s Greek: A Translation Disaster – TikTok 3
Romans 1, 1 Corinthians 6, 1 Timothy 1 ~60 seconds
Ruth: Right. The New Testament round. Three passages, two dodgy Greek words, and one absolutely catastrophic translation committee.
Jonathan: Romans 1: Paul describes people abandoning God for imperial sex cults. Power, status, using bodies like furniture. He is describing ancient Rome – not your relationship.
Ruth: 1 Corinthians 6: the actual Greek words are “malakoi” – soft – and “arsenokoitai”- which appears almost nowhere else and seems to mean exploiters and abusers.
Jonathan: Some translation committees looked at all that nuance and said “no thanks – let’s just write ‘homosexuals’ and see how many lives we can ruin before lunch.”
Ruth: 1 Timothy lists arsenokoitai alongside murderers and slave traders. Which, even if it means what they say it means – is it giving “your non-binary neighbour trying to survive family lunch”?
Jonathan: No. It is not.
Ruth: You are not a mistranslation. You are a whole, beautiful image of God.
Jonathan: The real drama isn’t you coming out. It’s the Church refusing to come out of bad translation.
[Both look directly to camera. Pause. Knowing smile.]
Both: Where you go, we will go.
On-screen caption: YOU ARE NOT A MISTRANSLATION.
Dreamina Seedance 2.0 – video prompt
Same retro studio set, now with a large illustrated Greek scroll as a backdrop. Ruth and Jonathan in peak camp energy — gesturing at the scroll like lecturers who are also having the time of their lives. Cutaway: animated translation committee of stern suited men crossing out words and replacing them; the word “homosexuals” stamped in red on a document, then a buzzer sound and red X. Close-up on the two words “malakoi” and “arsenokoitai” illuminated as if on a quiz show board. Final shot: Ruth and Jonathan side by side, arms linked, looking to camera. Warm golden light. Freeze frame. Text appears: “YOU ARE NOT A MISTRANSLATION.” Confetti.
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